Katie on "Autobiography of a Face"

Over the weekend, I finished my non-fiction book Autobiography of a Face by Lucy Grealy.



In fourth grade, Lucy's face collided with a classmate's head which caused her to need a lot of tests done. After a toothache and presumed lockjaw, her doctors found out it was an Ewing's sarcoma which, defined by Wikipedia, "is a malignant round-cell tumor. It is a rare disease in which cancer cells are found in the bone or in soft tissue. The most common areas in which it occurs are the pelvis, the femur, the humerus, and the ribs". Lucy's Ewing's sarcoma was found in her jaw. She had surgeries upon surgeries to remove the cancer then several more to reconstruct the part of her jaw that had to be removed.

You always hear those heartwarming stories about people with cancer who don't let it affect their lives and stay upbeat; my grandma was like that. I think it's safe to say that Lucy Grealy was not one of those heartwarming stories. I think she tried to be, but handled things wrong as she grew up, turning to drugs, which ultimately killed her. She tried to put on a brave face, but it was more like a mask that disintegrated as she continued with her treatments, especially the chemotherapy. She was an inspiring child, but growing up with a disfigured face such as her's would not be easy for any adolescent. Her family suffered through financial problems after her father died and I think her faith slowly slipped away. Especially after so many failed reconstructive surgeries.

Lucy 's relationship with her mother was a somewhat disconnected one. Lucy never wanted to cry in front of her mother for fear of appearing weak to her. Her relationship with her father was not much better. She went through her illness and all that came with it believeing she had to be strong. She was constantly feeling as if she was alone. She went through high school always craving acceptance and approval: that meant having friends. She went to Sarah Lawrence where she did make many close friends. Once she had that attention, she needed more. The next step for her was love. Her face made her feel unlovable, a term she used copiously throughout her autobiography. And no matter how many valuable friendships she had, she needed to be loved. She used sex and men to fulfill this need. Because of her face, she was constantly in need. And I think she milked it. In Ann Patchett's book Truth and Beauty (what you could call the unofficial sequel), she tells of how she got a note from Lucy, whom she did not formally know at the time, asking her to look for an apartment for her in Iowa since she knew that she was going to be there. At Sarah Lawrence she became a campus celebrity. Everyone knew her story. And everyone liked her. She portrays herself as awkward and sheltered and ugly. But her friend Patchett describes her as more graceful and pretty. The contrast between Lucy's version of herself, and Ann's version of Lucy stunned me at first. Ann's Lucy was outgoing, fun, bubbly, and pretty.


I really enjoyed Lucy's book and look forward to finishing Ann Patchett's book about Lucy.